


La guérison

by RedStarFiction



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:11:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6943030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedStarFiction/pseuds/RedStarFiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part one of a quick two-shot of Jamie and Fergus healing in the aftermath of Randall back home at Lallybroch and how I imagine it may have effected them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jamie and Fergus had been walking in near silence for the last ten minutes, as they approached the final field before Lallybroch Jamie placed a gentle hand on the boy’s shoulder.   
“Jenny told me why ye were asked to begin clearing the far plot this afternoon.”  
Fergus nodded but offered no further insights. Jamie looked down at him and wondered how to proceed. Jenny had told him that Fergus had been aggressive to Rabbie throughout the day to the point that she had finally sent the boys to separate areas of the estate on different chores to prevent them seeing each other.  
“The odd thing is that it wasna mutual, Rabbie truly wasna doin’ anythin’ wrong. I dinna ken what got into the wee monster but Fergus was hounding him.”  
She had wanted Jamie to give Fergus a tanning for his behaviour and he didn’t blame her, he knew well enough what a menace Fergus could be and no one had the time to be keeping an eye on him to monitor him but Jamie also understood what the lad may be feeling to a greater extent than most and whilst it didn’t excuse his aggression, it explained it.  
So Jamie had offered to fetch Fergus home for supper and had hoped that the boy would be inclined to speak with him about it. He had not factored in Fergus’ ability to hold a silence when he wanted to and now found himself trying to prod a response from his adopted son without losing his patience.  
“Ye canna punish Rabbie for the wrong another did ye.”  
Jamie scolded quietly, keeping his voice low and level. Fergus kept his eyes trained ahead, only the slight flair of his nostrils giving away his urge to argue.  
“Fergus, we can stand here all evening if it takes ye that long to stop sulking.”  
“I’m not sulking!”  
Fergus snapped and Jamie nodded, glancing at the boy out of the corner of his eye.   
“Weel then, go ahead and say what is burning at the back o’ ye throat then.”  
Fergus drew a breath and glanced up at Jamie.  
“I was not punishing Rabbie for something another did to me, I simply did not like the odour coming from him, nor how close he stands to me when we are grooming the horses.”  
The distain in his voice was measured and calculated and Jamie knew it was probably not the whole story, but most likely all he would get for now.  
“Ye dinna smell o’ roses yeself.”  
He observed mildly. Fergus stepped round in front of him small fists curled tightly, held rigid against his side.   
“An insult Milord?”  
“No, a fact.”  
Jamie surveyed the little chap with a slight twinge of amusement, taking in the fighting stance he had adopted.   
“Ye can try it laddie but I dinna think ye’ll win.”  
“First to draw blood wins, the rest is just brutality.”  
Fergus drew himself up to his full height and gave Jamie a look that felt almost familiar but Jamie was unable to put his finger on it. It was something about the set of his jaw and the tilt of his head it reminded Jamie of someone… he pushed the thought to the back of his mind.   
“Where exactly are ye intending to draw blood from? Should I fetch ye a stool to climb on so ye can reach my nose?”  
Jamie offered a small smile but it was not returned. They faced each other for a few moments longer and Jamie raised an eyebrow at him in question. Fergus drew a shuddering breath but his shoulders slumped with defeat.   
“I’m sorry Milord.”  
He said softly and wiped his sleeve under his nose. Jamie shrugged good naturedly   
“Dinna fash laddie, I wasna verra scared … only a wee bit.”  
He added allowing his grin to widen and this time Fergus returned it shakily.  
“I ken a wee bit o’ the anger ye must feel Fergus, I dinna blame ye for feelin’ so but ye must try no’ to let it out on others who would wish to be ye friends.”  
“You and Mister Murtagh hit each other.”  
Fergus reasoned and Jamie’s lip quirked  
“Murtagh is my God father, ken? It’s his duty to knock some sense into me.”  
Fergus grinned shyly up at Jamie and ran a hand through his dark curls, an imitation of Jamie’s own habit. That was it! He was mimicking Jamie! Claire had mentioned that the lad had taken to mirroring some of his movements when she had caught the wee bugger pissing over the fence rather than walking round to the privy, a delinquency which Jamie himself had committed more times than he cared to remember.  
Still it was the first time Jamie had noticed Fergus do it and it warmed his heart though he didn’t like admitting so, even to himself, for it felt like more than a touch of vanity. Jamie knelt before the boy and reached an arm out to him, resting his hand lightly on Fergus’ elbow.  
“I will do whatever I can to help ye through this Fergus.”  
Jamie’s eyes locked with Fergus’ and the boy swallowed audibly.   
“I do not need help Milord, I … I know what uses I have. You employed me for one and he …”  
“NO!”  
Jamie gripped Fergus more tightly and shook him slightly, clenching his leg muscles to try and prevent his body trembling  
“What Randall did to ye … it is no’ a use that ye have, it was a … a … a flaw within his own soul that compelled him to it, ken? It was nothin’ to do wi’ you or who ye are.”  
Fergus nodded but doubt reflected back at Jamie from the depths of his dark eyes with such force it broke Jamie’s heart afresh.   
“Ye are no’ to blame Fergus, it was him. All him.”  
Jamie edged carefully forward on his knees, cautious lest he spook the lad or make him feel too crowded. Gradually he eased the child forward into his arms and folded Fergus into his chest, one hand rubbing small circles on his back the other cradling his head.  
“I am sorry I didna protect ye bhalaich. If I …”  
Jamie bit the words off abruptly; Fergus had no need of the burden of Jamie’s guilt, the child already carried too much. Fergus, oblivious to Jamie’s own turmoil, pursed his lips and closed his eyes, allowing the words to blurt out before he could censor himself.  
“How do I stop hating the touch of another’s hand? Rabbie, he claps me on the shoulder or the back every time he tells a joke and today I hated him for it.”  
“So ye hit him to drive him off?”  
Fergus nodded and continued, his voice muffled in the fabric of Jamie’s shirt  
“Oui! But he … he just tries harder!”  
“He likes ye, I dinna think Rabbie had many friends before ye arrived.”  
Jamie knew that Rabbie was not always sure how to act towards people, but they poor lad had never been shown and had lacked most kindnesses in life before being taken under Jenny’s care.   
“I know, it is not his fault.”  
Fergus scuffed his boot against the coarse grass, his forehead still pressed to Jamie’s shoulder  
“I do not mind so much sometimes but …”  
“It comes and goes in waves, the feelin’ that ye need to ha’ space for ye body wi’out another close.”  
Jamie murmured, his voice deliberately calm and tone casual, as though discussing how a summer cold might make someone’s nose run.  
“Oui!”  
Fergus pulled back and looked at Jamie, eyes wide with awe  
“Oui Milord, exactly!”  
“But it doesna mean ye have to clobber the person nearest ye.”  
“Non.”  
Fergus lowered his gaze, visibly abashed.  
“Next time ye feel the need to hit something or someone, ye come and find me and I will teach ye to throw a proper punch and ye can take ye anger out on the hay or my palms.”  
Jamie said firmly   
“No more fighting with Rabbie, he hasna had it a great deal easier than ye have and I willna tolerate such behaviour from either o’ ye.”  
He injected as much force as he could into his voice, making himself be firm with the lad and fixing him with a look that he had seen in his own father’s eye plenty of times growing up.   
“Oui Milord. We are your employees and …”  
Jamie snorted and stood up  
“Ye are family, clotheid! Both of ye, no matter what ye smell like, are family. Understand?”  
Fergus bobbed his head and blinked back the moisture that had gathered in the corner of his eyes.   
“Oui Milord.”  
“Good.”  
Jamie took a deep breath through his nose and let it out quickly, smiling at Fergus as he began walking toward home again.  
“Now ye owe several apologies, an’ if ye wish to get a decent helping o’ beef ye had best make sure the one ye make to my sister is a good one!”


	2. Peace.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this was a one shot but then I thought of this and decided I wanted to write it out so it's now a two shot! :-)

Fergus sat on the edge of the bed and studied his hands; they were cleaner than they had been on most occasions that he could remember, although his knuckles were scabbed in a couple of places. His finger nails were smooth edged, short and tidy and he felt extremely pleased about it, like he had gone up in the world and the proof was right there for anyone to see.  
He wished that Phillipe and Gus could see him now; the other boys would never believe it, Claudel the pickpocket sitting in a small but well heated room in a grand house in Scotland. A new home, a new name and a new position as the trusted advisor and confidant of Laird Broch Tuarach! He stood up and lightly crossed to the window, avoiding the floorboards he knew squeaked. He pushed the curtain aside and looked out across the moonlit courtyard, using the hem of his nightgown to wipe away the moisture as his breath fogged the glass. He had never seen such stars as there were above Scotland and he wondered if they favoured the highlands because of the clean air, unlike the smoky atmosphere of Paris. Gingerly he perched his backside on the chilly window sill and settled his back against the wall, staring out across the sky and letting his mind drift to peacefulness.  
“Fergus?”  
The boy jumped up guiltily and bowed as Claire stepped into his room.  
“Milady! I am at your service!”  
Claire smiled and came to stand beside him, her skin seamed to inhale the white light of the moon and radiate it back out, even brighter and more beautiful than it was before, Fergus had noticed this before but without the presence of Milord he studied Claire more freely, his attention devoted solely to her.  
“Can’t you sleep?”  
“I must confess did not try, I enjoy looking at the stars.”  
Fergus gestured upwards and Claire followed his gaze  
“I have seldom seen so many shine so brightly.”  
He continued, for some reason the silence between them made him feel shy and he hastened to fill it.  
“When I was in Egypt I saw a great many skies like this but there is something special about the Highlands at night.”  
Her voice was light and soft and Fergus could feel her eyes on him. He had seen a lion in a travelling circus once and he had the same colour eyes as Milady, bright and wild and fierce. He was not sure if it was a compliment or not though, so decided not to tell her.  
“I feel very peaceful here; I know I should be in bed…”  
Claire’s lip turned upwards and she leant in closer to him, putting an arm around his shoulders  
“So should I. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t!”  
For a second Fergus thought anxiously of Milord but Claire’s smile relaxed him, she was joking of course. He did not always know how to act around Claire, she was not like most women he had known ... of course he had mostly known whores ... Blushing Fergus realised he had not answered her.  
“Oui Milady, it is a deal.”  
They stood in silence for a few more moments until Claire sighed  
“I don’t think I have ever said it, but I am truly glad that you are here with us Fergus.”  
The boy startled under her hand and Claire could feel him watching her intently as she spoke  
“I truly hope you will see us as family in time. It is how we see you, you know? As a member of the family.”  
Fergus swallowed and nodded, unsure of what to say  
“Milord, he told me the same thing.”  
“Good.”  
Claire smiled and bent to lightly kiss his forehead.  
"You have both been so very kind to me."  
Fergus whispered and Claire gave his shoulder a little squeeze.  
“The Fraser’s are remarkable in the openness of their hearts. They took me in not so long ago. When I married Jamie we did not know each other very well, but he, and Jenny and Ian, welcomed me with open arms. Now we welcome you.”  
As Claire spoke she took his hand lightly. Fergus was did not trust himself to speak and so he simply nodded again and turned his eyes back to the skies, only the grip of his fingers around hers speaking of his feelings.  
“Alright ... welll ... Try not to be up much longer, Jamie says you’re riding with him tomorrow.”  
Claire smiled and crossed towards the door, her skirts gently rustling.  
“Oui Milady.”  
“Good night Fergus.”  
“Good night Milady.”  
Fergus managed, and waited for the door to close before creeping back to his bed and kneeling beside it as he had seen Milord do and saying three prayers; a prayer of thanks, a prayer for the Fraser family and finally a prayer that he be found worthy of their love. He had never been loved before and in truth he was not entirely sure what to do so a prayer felt as good as anything. He knew if he were to ask Milord or Mr Murray what a man does when he is loved they would give him a queer look and say something like “Ye accept it as it is laddie.” That was the answer for most of his questions about family or friendship. And Fergus did accept it, with open arms and a full heart he accepted it all and he returned their affection for him with every fibre of his being.  
Slipping back into bed Fergus pulled the sheets up over his shoulders and turned to face the door, listening to the low rumble of the adults getting ready for bed, and allowed sleep to take him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected third part to this loosely linked story about Fergus settling into life with the Fraser’s after France. It is quite a lot of good feels and just focuses on the bond between J + F growing and solidifying. Thank you as ever for all your comments, kudos and for reading my work.

Fergus placed a hand on the cow’s head and allowed his fingers to trail gently down the coarse fur of her neck before softly touching the silky sweep of her ear, grinning as it twitched beneath his palm.

“Tres belle, Madame vache.”

He murmured, patting her neck once more before pushing himself upright and hopping down from the fence. The clouds were beginning to roll in from the hills as Jenny had warned him they would, and with them came a chilly wind which made his nose run and his toes curl in his boots.

“I must go Mon Cher. I bid you a pleasant afternoon.”

Fergus picked up the sack of apples that he had been sent to collect and wondered if he was late. He had not been asked to hurry and so it was reasonable to presume that the task was one he might take his time about.

Milord and Murtagh would likely be turning hay still, he supposed he could stop by and say hello. Also he had been asked to gather twelve apples and he had in fact collected over twenty as they were ripe, so there was enough to share with the men.

His mind made up, Fergus sauntered along toward the eastern fields, hastening to a trot to keep warm.

“Ho! What are ye doin’ out here?”

Murtagh called as soon as Fergus came into view

“Mrs Murray sent me for apples.”

“And yet ye find yeself o’er here!”

“There were many ripe ones and so I picked extra – for Milord.”

Fergus added, flashing Murtagh a cheeky grin

“That’s a kind thought laddie.”

Jamie called, Fergus had not seen him before as he had been crouched low but now he stood and turned politely away from Murtagh to sneeze.

Fergus froze mid-step and stared at his adoptive father’s back, bare and pale in the grey sunlight. The scars were worse than Fergus remembered from the brief glimpses he had caught of them before. Thick silver and white welts that criss-crossed the entirety of Milord’s back, from tail bone to shoulders. Murtagh caught the horrified look on the child’s face and discreetly placed himself between Fergus and Jamie, walking calmly forward.

“If ye ha’ another spare, I wouldna turn it down.”

He spoke low, softer than his usual gruff tone and Fergus slowly looked up into the kindly bearded face above him.

“Oui, of course. I was only teasing you, there is plenty.”

He smiled shakily and Murtagh placed a gentle hand on his shoulder

“Good man.”

He turned to walk back to Jamie and Fergus saw that Milord was now wearing his shirt again and felt slightly ashamed at the relief that swept over him, he would not have known what to say about it.

“Did ye and Rabbie finish ye sums?”

“Oui Milord.”

“And ye spellings?”

“Oui.”

Fergus nodded and held out the bag for Jamie and Murtagh to help themselves to the fruit, noticing how different Milord’s hands had become since returning from Paris. Ink stains had been replaced with grass stains and paper cuts replaced with blisters and the beginnings of fresh callouses. Murtagh’s hands looked the same and Fergus smiled to himself thinking that his friend could most likely live a life of pure leisure and still find a way to cover himself in dirt.

“And ye didna cheat this time?”

“Pardon? Cheat Milord? Moi?”

Fergus looked innocently up at Jamie, his dark eyes wide and as honest as he could make them. Jamie wiped apple juice from his chin with the back of his hand and fixed his son with a gimlet eye.

“Aye, cheat. Dinna think I don’t notice when my books have been rifled through.”

“Mr Murray is a learned man also, non? Perhaps he …”

“Careful laddie.”

Murtagh cautioned, one bushy eyebrow quirking upwards and Fergus had the grace to look abashed. Lying and stealing had been his trade almost since he could walk and he found both slightly difficult habits to shake.

“We did not cheat this time, Milady had us bring our slates into her surgery.”

“Good.”

Jamie ruffled Fergus’ hair and tossed the apple core over his shoulder. Fergus grinned and helped himself to an apple out of the bag. It was a small thing but to be referred to as ‘good’ twice in the space of five minutes was not something he had ever thought to experience before meeting Jamie and now it happened with some regularity. Of course discipline had never been a real part of his life either, in the brothel if he could avoid an angry patron’s kick or dodge Madame Elise’s frustrated slap and keep himself hidden for long enough then he would be in the clear but it was not so at Lallybroch. But Fergus was finding his way as he always had done. Over the weeks that they had been in Scotland, he had pushed his boundaries to see where the limits lay and experimented with behaviours that had been considered favourable previously too. He had learned that Mrs Murray and Mrs Crook did not care for having their breasts complimented but that larger than average dollops of honey might find their way to his parritch in the morning if he helped set the table and noticed how the ladies wore their hair.

He discovered that Mr Murray would gladly show him such skills as whittling and other woodwork and that watching from behind curtains and trying to be invisible was not necessary.

Fergus also discovered that Milord did not forget or ignore promises made. Fergus had been made countless promises over the years by those who needed something from him, whether it was the promise of a sweet if he managed not to cry or the promise of payment if he would only entertain a certain guest for a little while. More often than not these promises proved false but that was not the case with the Fraser’s and gradually Fergus was beginning to trust in this. Whether Milord promised him a hiding or a fishing lesson, he kept to his word and that knowledge was like a protective cloak around Fergus, sheltering him from his past. If the Fraser’s should ever tire of him and send him back to France …

“Are ye still wi’ us Fergus?”

The boy jolted and looked dazedly up to find Milord looking at him with a queer expression.

“What’s amiss laddie? Ye look fair upset!”

Jamie squatted down in front of him and without thinking Fergus through his arms around his neck and clung on for dear life. Jamie rocked back onto his heels with the impact but kept his balance and gently enfolded Fergus in a tight hug.

“I enjoy being here Milord.”

Fergus mumbled and heard Jamie snort above his head

“The Eastern fields? I shall remember that the next time the hay needs turning. I canna say I enjoy it much.”

Jamie nudged him upright but kept a light hold on both the boy’s arms, offering him a small encouraging smile.

“No one has ever been so kind to me before you and Milady and Mr Murtagh…”

“Mr Murtagh?! I must be goin’ up in the world.”

Jamie rolled his eyes and made a shushing motion at his Godfather.

“I do not want to be sent away!”

The words burst out of Fergus before he could stop them and he blushed fiercely

Jamie laughed gently.

“What are ye goin’ on about mo beag losgann? Why would we send ye away?”

Fergus bit his lip and tried to step back, out of range of the piercing blue gaze that was likely to see him completely undone, but Jamie’s fingers only tightened their grip.

“Has something happened?”

“Are ye in trouble laddie?”

Fergus shook his head at Murtagh’s question

“Non. I am sorry, I am being a fool.”

“Nout new there then.”

Murtagh grinned and cuffed the boy very lightly over the head, pleased to see him smile in response.

“I do not know how I came to be so lucky and I know you said Rabbie and I are like family but I worry that you might not want me anymore now that I am not needed.”

Fergus said finally, the jovial teasing from his friend allowing him to gather his thoughts.

“Ah, well. Allow me to put ye fears to rest then. Ye are needed. I need ye.”

Jamie smiled broadly and shrugged.

“What for Milord?”

Fergus asked eagerly, any job he could do, anything at all, would be very welcome.

“To be here at Lallybroch. I dinna mean to lose ye now or ever.”

Jamie forced his face into a more serious countenance and stood up placing his hands on his hips.

“And I didna say ye were ‘like family’ I said ye ARE family.”

The boy ducked his head and Jamie made his voice a little softer.

“Are we clear on the matter now Fergus? Ye place is here wi’ us.”

Fergus nodded and pressed his hands together to stop them shaking.

“Oui Milord. Thank you Milord.”

“Good. Now go ahead and get those apples back to the house, family or no, my sister will be fashed if ye put her baking schedule out!”

As Jamie and Murtagh watched Fergus take off at a run and disappear down the hill toward Lallybroch Murtagh sighed and clapped a hand on Jamie’s shoulder.

“He’s got a damaged wee heart, but the soul of the laddie is fair.”

“I ken it well.”

Jamie nodded and pursed his lips

“I hope in time he will come to ha’ a better sense o’ his worth. A man canna be happy if he doesna ha’ any pride in himself.”

Murtagh mused and Jamie smiled to himself

“Och, he had pride. He just lacks a bit o’ confidence and that will come.”

“With any luck.”

Murtagh nodded.

Jamie gave his godfather a playful nudge in the ribs

“If I didna ken better I’d say ye were fond of the lad.”

“If I can be fond o’ you, I can be fond o’ anyone!”

Murtagh retorted but gave Jamie’s arm a surreptitious squeeze as he turned back to his work.

Jamie took advantage of the brief solitude and drew a deep breath in and let it out slowly. The horrors of Paris faded a little more with every passing day but he was glad of quiet moments such as this when he could feel the tide receding and appreciate the calm that was beginning to settle over life at Lallybroch and the family he and Claire had already begun to build.


End file.
